


Paper Kisses

by Purple_Pixie143



Series: Happy Holidays [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, Fluff, Harry bakes a lot, I have a potty mouth so there will be swearing, Kid Fic, Louis is an elf, M/M, Niall loves caroling, mentions of perrie - Freeform, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-02-26 06:06:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2640896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purple_Pixie143/pseuds/Purple_Pixie143
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shahidah wanted one thing for Christmas, and she hoped that Santa could help her out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paper Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> I love Christmas and obviously I've grown to have a penchant for kid!fics so I wrote this story. It was supposed to be a nice short little piece, but somehow it grew into a 13k + big baby. It was pre-read by my lovely friend Carlee, my very own Ziam pusher. Thanks lovely :) 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy it. x

_**Paper Kisses** _

 

 " _If anything ever happens to me, I_ want _you to promise me something,"_ she said brushing his hair off his forehead. 

 _"Anything,”_ he had replied, kissing her cheek lovingly.

" _Fall in love again, live your life."_

 _"I can't love anyone but you,"_ he had told her, nuzzling her neck with his nose.

She had slapped at his chest playfully, and then her voice got serious, _“Promise me._ _"_

And he could never deny her anything,  _“I promise.”_

And fate can be so cruel sometimes, because less than a month later, she was dead. 

An aneurysm; she was twenty-two years old. 

So young, so much she hadn't seen or done. 

Their daughter had just turned a year, and now she was motherless and Zayn's heart was broken. He withdrew into himself, and he couldn't find it in himself to look at his daughter, who looked so much like Perrie. His mother came to stay with them, taking care of her grand-daughter, trying to coax Zayn from the dark recesses of his mind. It was a task in itself and eventually she had to get drastic; she packed up all her things and went back home. 

 _"I'm going home sunshine, you have a responsibility here,"_ she told him, hugging him close to her chest. " _Perrie wouldn't want you to be treating your baby this way. She wouldn't want to see you so...lost."_

He had no choice but to take care of his baby. 

His Shahidah.

As she grew, the pain lessened and he was grateful that at least some part of Perrie had lived on.

Not only did she look like her mother, but he could see bits and pieces of Perrie's personality in her. 

Shahidah was a very confident little girl, even though she tended to shy away from people, (she inherited that trait from her father), once she became comfortable with you, there was no stopping her. 

She was his little whirlwind, and he wouldn't have her any other way. He was kept on his toes at all times, and he was petrified at the thought of her teenage years. He'd be gray before he reached forty. 

Now Zayn had always known that he was bisexual, so it didn't come as that much of a surprise when he found himself captivated by a curly haired baker.

He met Harry when Shahidah was three years old, and that had been a memorable time in his life. 

Imagine having to explain to his extremely curious three year old, who was supposed to be fast asleep, why he and Uncle Harry were snogging on the couch. Luckily, she wasn't phased in the least, as a child she hadn't been tainted by the world as yet. Her daddy was happy and Harry was fun to be around; that was all that mattered to her.

It didn't escalate into anything serious, neither Harry or Zayn looking for anything more than a good time. The sexual part of their relationship soon cooled and they realized that they were better off as friends. 

People still believed that they were together because Harry was very into affection and whenever they went out, he was always touching or kissing Zayn. Zayn was so used to it, he never bothered to stop him from doing it. 

“Baba, are you and Uncle Harry going to get married?” Shahidah had asked one morning as they sat at the table, eating breakfast. Zayn nearly choked on his muffin and Harry, who had spent the night coughed loudly from his position by the stove. 

“What makes you ask that?” Zayn managed to choke out.

The little girl shrugged, “You love Uncle Harry don’t you?”

Zayn nodded, “Yes, I do.”

“And he loves you, right?” she turned to Harry for confirmation. 

“I love your baba very much,” Harry said moving closer to tweak her nose. 

“And Ms. Layne said when people love each other, they get married,” Shahidah said, her little face quite serious. 

“There’s lots of different types of love, moppet,” Harry said scooping her up in his arms. “And your baba and I don’t love each other like that.”

Shahidah frowned and for a minute, the two adults froze and waited for what she was going to say. 

“Well that simply won’t do,” she said. “Baba, may I be excused?”

Zayn blinked up at Harry, who shrugged his shoulders, before nodding to his daughter. She slid out of her chair and pressed kisses into both men’s cheeks before she disappeared into her room. 

“Well that was...odd,” Harry said clearing the dishes from the table.

“She’s been asking about love a lot lately,” Zayn said, a small frown on his face.

Harry grinned, “She just doesn't want you to be alone.”

“I’m not alone,” Zayn replied. 

Harry shook his head, “Most of her friends come from happy homes, that is, people are married and have someone to cuddle and kiss all the time.”

Zayn wrinkled his nose, “I can do that with you.”

Harry pretended to be offended, “I’ll have you know I’ll be meeting the great love of my life very soon, and then I won’t have time with you!”

“Cunt,” Zayn said, his smile so soft Harry wasn't at all miffed by the name calling.

“You’ll see,” Harry said sipping on his tea with a smile. “I had a dream the other night, now I couldn't see his face but he had the most beautiful blue eyes.”

Zayn shook his head, he was used to Harry’s whimsical fantasies, “You only saw his eyes? Usually you’d be focused on other things.”

Harry wrinkled his nose, “I’m getting older now Zaynie, I have to focus on things other than the size of a man’s cock.”

If he were having this conversation with anyone else, he’d be disturbed, but this was Harry. This was familiar and Zayn was comfortable with that. 

“It’s almost Christmas!” Harry exclaimed suddenly, clapping his hands. “Are we having a party?”

“Do you live here?” Zayn asked amused by Harry’s excitement. 

Harry gave Zayn what he thought was a withering look, but he actually looked like a perturbed kitten, “We have to celebrate for Sha-Sha.”

“She already celebrated  _our_ Christmas,” Zayn said, biting the inside of his jaw as he waited for Harry’s outburst. He wasn't disappointed when Harry jumped to his feet, his hair moving all over the place, as though it had a life of its own.

“That’s not fair!” he said actually stomping his foot in anger. “She is the product of mixed cultures. She has to experience both sides of the coin!”

Zayn couldn't hold in the laughter anymore, it was amazing that Harry was getting so worked up. They had this conversation _every_ year. Christmas was a big thing to his daughter and she loved the fact that she got to celebrate twice. Harry paused in his tirade and glared at Zayn, who was doubled over laughing his fool head off.

“Every year you fall for that,” Zayn said with a grin, his tongue pressed against his teeth. 

Harry flipped him off, “I’d tell you to fuck off if you weren't so cute.”

Zayn stood up and ruffled Harry’s hair, pecking his lips. “We can have a party H, just don’t go too wild.”

Harry gave a high pitched squeal and hugged Zayn's waist, pushing his nose against the soft skin of Zayn’s stomach. 

“Love you,” he mumbled.

“Save your love for Mr. Blue-Eyes,” Zayn said moving away.

Harry pouted and watched Zayn as he washed up the dishes. “Don’t you love me?”

Zayn dried his hands in front of his pants and pinned Harry with a glare, “You’re being a proper twat today H, of _course_ I love you. Sheesh.” 

Harry grinned, “Just checking.”

**+※+**

“Oh come on Zayn, it should be fun!” Harry said as he pulled the tray of cookies out of the oven. 

Harry was at work and Zayn was killing time until he had to get Shahidah from school. Zayn was complaining about the field trip that he had been roped into by his daughter’s teacher.

“Christmas shopping Harry!” he cried, “With fifteen five to six year old little people!”

Harry shrugged, he had always loved children, “It’ll be fun Zee, and just think you might even get to sit on Santa’s lap.”

Zayn glared at him, but Harry smiled and wiggled his brows at Zayn, “I’ll check and see if I can get the day off. I want to sit on Santa’s lap.”

“You’re an arse, but I’d be glad if you _would_  come with,” Zayn said reaching over the counter to wipe a streak of flour off Harry’s cheek.

“You’d be lost without me,” Harry said cheekily.

Zayn rolled his eyes, “Are you coming over later?”

Harry nodded, “Only to drop off some cookies for Sha-Sha, I’m having dinner with the family.”

“Oh?” Zayn said, his brows raised. “Gems too?”

Harry gave Zayn a look, “My sister doesn't want you Malik, but _yes_ she’s coming too. Has some announcement to make so...” Harry trailed off.

Zayn chuckled, “Everyone wants me Styles, just give Gems a kiss for me will ya?”

“Get out of here before I have you thrown out!” Harry said feigning anger. Zayn laughed and kissed his lips quickly before heading out to collect his daughter. When he picked her up she kept going on and on about the trip to the mall and how she _really_ wanted to see Santa. There was not much else for Zayn to do than to listen to her ramble on, and of course when Harry brought over the cookies later that night, he could hear the two of them giggling about the fun they’re going to have.

“What are going to ask Santa for this year?” he heard Harry ask, as he stirred the spaghetti sauce. Shahidah replied, but it had been too quiet for him to hear, but he _did_ hear Harry chortle and congratulate her on an excellent wish.

“What was that all about?” he asked when they were standing at the door, Harry buttoning up his jacket.

Harry shook his head, rubbed Zayn's nose with his, kissed his cheek.and laughed, “I can not trade secrets with you.”

“I hate you,” Zayn said to Harry’s retreating back.

Harry laughed and blew him a kiss, “You could never babe. See you tomorrow.”

That night after Shahidah had gone off to sleep, Zayn found himself thinking about Perrie, and his promise to her. Hearing Harry talking about settling down had gotten him thinking and it made him realize that even though he had Harry to some extent, it wasn't nearly enough; he was lonely.

**+※+**

“Can you believe it?” Harry was complaining as they followed behind the children.

“Not really, some poor baby is gonna have to deal with _you_ being their uncle,” Zayn said with a soft laugh. 

“Sod off alright?” Harry replied, voice low so the impressionable ears around wouldn't over hear. “She’s been dating this guy for over a year and she didn't tell _me_! And now she’s pregnant, _pregnant_ Zee!”

Apparently last night’s surprise dinner was _incredibly_ surprising. Gemma had brought home a man, and even though that in itself had not been a surprise, by the end of the night Gemma had left her entire family was reeling. 

“My mum cried of course, Robin looked stunned,” Harry went on as he tugged on the arm of a wayward little boy, “Stay with your partner,” he said firmly, turning back to Zayn. “ _My_ sister has _sex,_ " he sounded down right scandalized. 

“She’s older than you H, and besides, do you really think its fair for _you_  to get all the cock?” Zayn asked.

“And she’s marrying the guy!” Harry was besides himself. “But you know what’s the worst thing about all of this?”

Zayn shook his head and squeezed Harry’s fingers between his own, “What?” 

“He has blue eyes!” Harry wailed and Zayn couldn't keep his laughter in any longer.

“You poor baby,” Zayn chuckled. “Well at least your dream came true...for your sister.”

“I really don’t like you right now,” Harry pouted.

“Baba look!” Sahidah cried, ending their conversation momentarily. 

“It’s Santa! Can I go see him? Pleaseee?” there really wasn't much he could do besides say yes. 

So he and Harry found themselves in the line with a bunch of excited children waiting to see Santa Claus. 

“Baba look!” Shahidah whispered up to Zayn. “Doesn't he look like a _real_ elf?”

Zayn and Harry looked up to see what the little girl was talking about. Standing next to Santa was a very pixie like looking man, his features were elfin and his body tiny. 

"Jesus Zee," Harry whispered, his eyes locked on the man who was busy rounding up the rowdy children, "He's gorgeous." 

"And that bum," Zayn nodded appreciatively. "He  _does_ look like a real elf baby." 

Zayn and Harry kept watching the tiny man as he bounced around the room on the balls of his feet, keeping the tiny people in check. 

When they finally reached the front of the line, the cute elf grinned up at them, “Hiya.”

Next to him, Harry gasped and Zayn gave him a sharp look before smiling back at he elf, “Hiya.”

Harry was still standing there, saying nothing and Zayn was slightly amused. He had never seen Harry flustered over anyone before. He nudged the younger man in his side before flashing the elf a grin, “This is my friend Harry, he wants to sit on Santa’s lap.”

The elf raised a brow at Harry, “Only good little boys get to sit on Santa’s lap, have you been a good boy?” 

His tone was neutral, but his eyes twinkled mischievously. Zayn covered his laugh with a cough, while Shahidah piped up, “Uncle Harry’s the best!” 

Harry flushed and the elf laughed before turning his attention to Shahidah, “And what about you sweetie? Have you been a good little girl?”

Shahidah nodded, “Very good. I have something big to ask of Santa. Are you a real elf?”

“Yes, I’m Louis. Head elf direct from the North Pole,” he said tugging one of Shahidah’s pigtails. 

The little girl giggled and squeezed her father’s hand, “I like him.” 

Louis winked and went to take a photo with the latest screaming child, leaving them to themselves for a.moment. 

“Are you alright H?” Zayn asked sparing his friend a glance.

“He has the same blue eyes,” was all Harry whispered. Zayn reached over and grabbed Harry’s hand and squeezed it comfortingly, “Just breathe and we’ll deal with the rest later alright?”

Then there was no time to worry about Harry’s love life because Shahidah was pulling him up to Santa where she whispered into the guy’s ear. They had pictures taken, one with the three of them smiling brightly, then Louis managed to get Harry to sit on Santa’s lap while he made funny faces, his cheek pressed against Harry’s.  

Harry was in a daze by the time they were finished, and Zayn had to lead him away gently. 

Louis called out that he’d see them soon and Zayn didn't question it, but he could feel the tension in Harry’s body as he draped his arm over the younger man’s shoulder. They finished up with ice cream in the food court and were getting ready to leave when Shahidah had a minor panic attack.

Turned out she had forgotten to give Santa something very important, so Zayn found himself down in the staff quarters trying to find Santa. He found Louis instead, the man gave him a bright smile and tickled Shahidah’s sides, “Did you guys like the show that much?”

“I forgot to give Santa something,” Shahidah whispered.

Louis’ eyes widened and he gasped, clutching his chest, “That simply won’t do. Santa already left though, but his secretary is here still.”

Zayn smiled thankfully at Louis over Shahidah’s head, the tiny man winked and grabbed Shahidah’s hand, “Let’s get your important message to Santa shall we?”

When the two of them returned, they weren't alone. 

“Daddy, this is Liam!” his daughter tittered excitedly. “He’s going to give my...important thing to Santa for me.”

Zayn looked over at Liam and he was almost bowled over by the man’s attractiveness. He blinked slowly as his Liam licked his pink lips and Zayn didn't think he’d meet anyone with lips a pink as Harry’s. 

“Hello,” Liam said, his warm voice making heat curl in Zayn's stomach. “Your daughter is lovely.”

“Thank you,” Zayn said trying to keep his cool. He looked over at Louis who had a smirk on his face, his eyes going back and forth between Liam and Zayn.

“Well, I guess we should get going,” Zayn said. 

Louis nodded, “Long trip to the Pole and we have a very important package to deliver don’t we Liam?” 

Liam nodded, his eyes meeting Zayn's for a quick minute before he looked away and Zayn could've sworn the other man blushed. The group made their way to he top of the mall and before they parted ways, Louis gave Zayn a paper with his number on it. 

“Tell Curly I’ll be expecting his call,”  he said. 

“Do you want Uncle Harry to be an elf?” Shahidah asked as Zayn stuffed the paper into his pocket.

“He’d make a rather cute elf, don’t you thinks so?” Louis smiled down at the girl.

Shahidah nodded but then she frowned, “I don’t want him to have to go away.”

Louis nodded thoughtfully, “We’ll work something out, because I’d never steal your Uncle Harry away from you.” 

“Thanks Uncle Louis,” she cried and hugged his legs tightly before turning back to her father, “Let’s go daddy. I’m baking with Uncle Harry tonight.”

“Sorry if her calling you uncle made you uncomfortable, she just really likes you,” Zayn said but Louis waved him off,  “It’s alright. We’ll be seeing you.” 

“Bye _Lee-yum_ ,” Zayn said, not wanting to seem rude to the quiet man. 

Liam looked up, a small smile on his lips, “Bye...um, I never caught your name.”

“It’s Zayn,” Zayn couldn't believe that he had never introduced himself. He needed to get out of there before he made a fool of himself. “Well, see ya around I guess.” 

By the time he got back to Harry, his ears were ringing with talk about Louis and Liam. He ignored Harry’s questioning gaze, shaking his head slightly. Harry nodded in understanding, they would have a talk when Shahidah was tucked into bed, sleeping soundly.

**+※+**

It takes Harry a week and a half to call Louis, and he does it under Zayn’s teasing eyes. It was a rather short conversation, Louis was at work, but Harry managed to invite him along to go caroling.

“Of course Liam can come,” Harry said wiggling his brows at Zayn. “Zayn and Shahidah are coming too, so it should be great fun.”

“I’m not going,” Zayn said as soon as Harry hung up the phone. 

“You have to!” Harry cried, his voice reminiscent of Shahidah’s when she was pleading to have her own way. “Gemma’s coming and she’s bringing Niall. I don’t want to be all alone with them _and_ Louis too.”

“I really hate you,” Zayn said, knowing that he wouldn't leave Harry alone at a time like this.

“Don’t you like Liam?” Harry asked, the two of them had never gotten around to talking about what happened that day at the mall.

“I don’t know him,” Zayn said, his throat tightening as he remembered the pink lips and those brown eyes that seemed to pull Zayn in, threatening to hold him there.

Harry regarded Zayn thoughtfully, he hadn't met Liam but something about he man obviously made Zayn uneasy; he’d make sure to keep an eye on them during the night.

His sister and Niall arrived first, the Irishman immediately winning over Zayn's affections with the bottle of homemade eggnog he had tucked under arm. 

“I reckon it will keep us warm tonight,” his blue eyes twinkled and Gemma slapped at his chest playfully.

“The two of you are not going to corrupt him!” Gemma laughed pinching Zayn and Harry’s cheeks. Harry rolled his eyes and offered Niall some Christmas cookies, “The least I can do is feed you, since I know my sister can’t even boil water properly."

"Oi!" Gemma said, "Sod off!" 

Harry clucked his tongue, "See what that poor child will have to endure?" he turned to Niall, "Oh man, and you too." He clapped his hand on Niall's shoulder, in a sympathetic gesture.

"You little twat," Gemma said, her smile softening her words, "I should've just smothered you when you were a baby." 

Harry grasped his chest and dropped back dramatically, "And this woman is my _loving_ sister, ladies and gentlemen."

"You are not very funny," Zayn said ruffling Harry's hair.

"He's a right riot, he is," Niall said reaching out his fist for Harry to bump. 

Harry leaned over and wiggled his fingers under Niall's fist, making the sound of fire, or what he  _thought_ sounded like fire. Niall's eyes lit up and he cackled loudly, Zayn and Gemma shared a look before shaking their head at the duo on the couch. 

"Idiots, the lot of them," Gemma grumbled, Zayn nodded his agreement. 

They were waiting for Shahidah to come back from a play date before they got out on the streets. Niall had brought along his guitar, and was strumming some keys as they waited. 

"You're pretty good," Harry said in the slow drawl of his. "I'm gonna get you to teach me how to play." 

Niall laughed and nodded, "Aye, whenever you're ready." 

Zayn rolled his eyes, Harry was such a spoiled brat, he didn't even  _ask_ Niall if he could teach him; oh no, that was  _not_ how Harry Styles operated. He  _told_ you what you were going to do, you have no say in the matter. Harry caught him giving him a look and stuck out his tongue like the five year old he actually was. 

"Brat," Zayn said fondly. 

"Love you too," Harry said quietly. 

Shahidah arrived then and they all bundled up and trudged out the door. Shahidah was excited to meet Gemma and Niall, and she proceeded to talk their ears off, making Zayn apologize profusely. 

"It's no trouble mate," Niall said. "Think of it as practice, Gemma being pregnant, and all." 

 When they spotted Louis, Shahidah squealed. She ran and gave Louis a big hug and Zayn couldn't help but mirror the smile on Louis' face, he also noticed immediately how Harry's body language changed. Only, he didn't have time to focus on Harry's reactions to Louis, because then he found himself staring at Liam. 

For what seemed like an eternity the two of them were caught up in each other until Louis cleared his throat, throwing a smirk in Liam’s direction.

“Hello Zayn,” Louis grinned with a wave. 

“Hiya,” Zayn said, his eyes still hadn't left Liam. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him but he just couldn't pull his eyes away.

Harry gave him a funny look and moved into his line of vision, effectively blocking Liam. He heard introductions being made and then Shahidah was talking Liam’s ears off. He caught Harry giving him curious looks, his gaze drifting to Liam questioningly, but now was not the time, especially since he himself didn't understand what was going on.

“…and Baba doesn't eat Babe, but I loveeee bacon. It’s yummy,” he caught the end of the conversation between Liam and his daughter. 

 _’Allah, he was gorgeous,’_ Zayn thought as he watched Liam’s pink lips draw back to show his teeth, while he laughed.

“I like bacon too,” he whispered to the beaming child before him, his eyes trained on her father. “We can eat all of it and not worry about sharing.”

Shahidah squealed and wrapped her body around Liam’s leg, “You are the best!” she cried, and her father might have felt the sharp twinge of jealousy in his chest.

“When are you going to ask him out?” the sound of Gemma’s voice startled Zayn and he whirled around and found himself face to face with elder of the Styles siblings, the dimples pronounced as she grinned knowingly up at him.

“I don’t have to ever ask Harry out,” Zayn said dryly and Gemma laughed.

“You are not that thick Malik,” she said rolling her eyes. “I’m talking about Mr. Puppy eyes over there.” 

Zayn’s traitorous eyes immediately went to Liam, who now had his rambunctious daughter perched in his arms as they sang a lively rendition of Jingle Bells. Niall was strumming away happily on his guitar and Harry and Louis were singing along and yet still managed to be making heart eyes at each other. It made Zayn’s heart ache and the loneliness he usually kept at bay, threatened to swallow him whole.

Gemma squeezed his hand softly, “You deserve to live a little Zee,” she said. “And if I’m not mistaken, he’s into you.”

“More like he wants to get _in_  him,” Louis chirps, appearing next to them.

Gemma cackled and clapped, while Zayn flushed and looked away; the images that immediately came to mind from Louis’ words causing his cheeks to burn even more.

“I think we might keep you!” Gemma said tugging Louis in for a hug. 

“And I’m keeping Lee-yum!” Shahidah announced loudly. She and Liam had _'sneaked'_ off to the candy store and both their lips were stained red from the lollipops they were sucking on.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Liam said with a guilty grin, his eyes looking even more adorable. If he pouted then, Zayn was sure that his entire body would submit to Liam.

He gave a shake of his head, offering a smile, “My daughter could probably sell ice to an Eskimo if she wanted.”

Liam smiled then and Zayn knew he was in trouble, his eyes flew to Harry, who was already watching him. He gave Zayn a little smile, letting his friend know he’d be there to listen once they were alone, before he snuggled into Louis’ arms.

By the end of the night Harry and Louis had wandered off alone, probably being all sappy; Gemma had threatened to beat Niall with his guitar more times than Zayn could remember, but the blonde had merely kissed her nose and continued strumming the hell out of his guitar. Niall promised that visits would be often now that he had made new friends. Zayn knew that he had earned another Harry when that was said.

“I’ll never get rid of them,” he grumbled to himself.

“Looks like you’re stuck with us,” Liam smiled at him.

Zayn looked up at him and made a dismissive sound, Shahidah was sleeping, her mouth slackened and a silvery line of saliva was now running down Liam’s jacket.

“I’ll be the only sane person in this whole circus,” Zayn said rolling his eyes, but his smile betrayed his true feelings; he was glad to have them all. 

Even Liam, who scared the shit out of him.

**+※+**

 It’s two weeks before Christmas and things get a bit on the crazy side. Zayn feels as though he’s been abducted by aliens from a planet obsessed with Christmas, even Shahidah seems to be have bitten by the bug. Harry has become the baker from hell and the only plus is that Zayn’s house smells heavenly.

Zayn came home from work to find his house commandeered one evening; Louis was sat on his counter watching as Harry whipped up another masterpiece, Gemma was lounging on the couch eating something Zayn wasn't sure was actually edible and Niall was at her feet, tugging at the strings of his guitar. Zayn shook his head before noticing someone's absence, "Where's Shahidah?" 

And then as if on cue, his daughter ran into the room, throwing her little body against his with wild gales of laughter. 

"Baba, you're late!" she chastised, her little face serious as he lifted her in his arms. 

Zayn tried to smother his grin, while looking at his daughter's face, but he lost the battle anyway; that earned him a frown and folded arms. 

"I'm sorry baby," he said kissing her all over her face until she was a mess of giggles. It was then he looked up and right into the chocolate pools that somehow managed to worm their way into his dreams at night. 

"What are you doing here?" he blurted out. 

The smile on Liam's face fell so quickly it almost gave Zayn whiplash and he immediately felt horrible. He hadn't meant for his words to seem harsh, or imply that he didn't want Liam there. 

The room had suddenly gone quiet and Zayn wanted to just clutch his daughter closer to his chest and run away from it all. 

"I can go if you want," Liam said, his voice betraying nothing.

"Of course you don't have to go," Harry said from the kitchen. "Zayn's obviously in a crappy mood. Ignore him." 

"It's his house Harry," Liam said, his eyes still on Zayn who had suddenly gone mute.

"Baba?" Shahidah said patting her father's face. "You don't want Uncle Li here?" 

Zayn looked down at his daughter's face and shook his head, "Of course I do sweetie, I was just shocked is all." 

"You should say sorry to Uncle Li, you might have hurt his feelings," his daughter said, her little face showing concern. 

"You're right as always baby," Zayn said rubbing his nose against hers. "Liam, you are always welcome here. Forgive my rudeness. Harry's right, I had a long day and I'm just in a bit of a mood."

Liam blinked, "You sure?" 

"Mi casa es su casa," Zayn said offering a smile. 

Liam grinned then and if Zayn's chest tightened at the sight, he'd never admit it out loud.

Everything had settled down then and soon Zayn actually relaxed, or relaxed as much as he could with Liam around, and had a bit of fun. Niall was teaching Shahidah to play the guitar and the look of sheer delight on his daughter’s face had all the adults enthralled. Harry had chased Louis out of the kitchen, although the kisses he had used to do this, probably served as incentive for Louis to keep sneaking back in.

“Aren't they sickening?” Gemma said throwing the two in question a look of mock disgust.

“Not much more than you and Blondie are,” Louis stuck his tongue out.

“It’s like eating too much of a good thing before emptying your guts into the toilet,” Zayn agreed; that earned him a half eaten cookie thrown at his head.

“Hey!” Harry cried with an huff. 

They were having fun and Zayn wanted this every year for the rest of his life. When the last set of cookies were cooling, they popped in a movie to watch. Shahidah chose Toy Story and Louis laughed, “Liam are you sure she isn't yours?”

Liam discretely flipped him the bird, before going back to mouthing each line of the movie, even getting Shahidah to join him. Zayn thought it was endearing and frustrating all the same. He did _not_ want to get butterflies over this man. 

“Ask him out already Zee,” Gemma said, voice low, so as not to be overheard. 

Zayn shook his head, silently making up a list of all the reasons he couldn't ask Liam out.

Gemma made a disgusted face and refused to talk to him until she was going through the door, “Please grow a pair and ask the bloke out, yeah?”

“Good night Gems,” he said with a laugh. “Night Nialler.”

“I have no idea why my girl is telling you to grow some balls, but I reckon you listen to her, she’s hardly ever wrong,” Niall grinned.

“Fuck off,” was Zayn’s reply.

Harry and Louis left next after reading a bedtime story for Shahidah, “Are you playing hard to get to throw Leemo off?” Louis asked, “I hope not because Liam likes to wear his potentials down.” 

Zayn sighed and rubbed his eyes, “Harry take him away.”

Harry laughed and kissed Zayn, “They’re all right though mate. And I think it’s time that you had a little happiness.”

Zayn threw his hand in the air and grumbled about mutiny and meddlesome friends. Harry and Louis left, laughing at his expense and that’s how Zayn found himself alone with Liam. Somehow he had managed to trick his body into forgetting the other man’s presence, but as soon as the door closed he was acutely aware.

“Shahidah’s been coming to see Santa everyday,” Liam said.

That was news to Zayn, “Has she?”

Liam nodded and smiled, “Harry’s been bringing her.”

Zayn scoffed, of course Harry would. "So you work at the mall too then?"

Liam nodded, "Something like that," he sounded slightly amused.

Zayn nodded and found his fingers nervously pulling at a loose string on his shirt.

“She’s a sweet child,” Liam said as he reached around Zayn for his coat; Zayn couldn't help but breathe in the spicy smell of his cologne. 

“Thanks,” he replied. 

“Zayn?” Liam’s coat was on and he was just standing there, watching Zayn.

“Y-yes?” Zayn cursed his nervousness.

“I like you,” Liam said and he smiled down at Zayn. “And I’m not giving up.” He leaned in and brushed his lips against Zayn’s cheek before going out the door. 

Zayn didn't know how long he stood there, all he knew was, his cheek was tingling where Liam’s mouth had touched.

**+※+**

Harry was acting strange, well stranger than usual, and it was getting on Zayn's last nerve. 

He was asking a lot of inane questions that had Zayn baffled most of the time and then irritated, because most of the things he asked, he already knew the answer to.

And then there was Liam. Seemed that he was always underfoot, and Zayn didn't know if he was supposed to feel flattered or annoyed. He was more than likely a mixture of both, but there was just something about Liam that made it near impossible for anyone to be mean to him. 

“Have you lot moved in then?” Zayn asked a few days before Christmas, and he had come home to find Liam and Louis snuggled up on the couch, Shahidah between them and some animated movie on the screen. Harry as usual was in the kitchen, cooking up a storm.

“We could as well,” Louis said gracing him with a smile. 

Harry had a flat, he was sure.

He moved over to the couch and bent over to kiss his daughter, she giggled and shooed him away. He gasped and caught Liam’s amused gaze. He proceeded to give him a mock glare before straightening up and heading towards the kitchen.

Harry grinned at him, his mass of curls held back by one of his many scarfs, “Good day?” his friend asked as he stirred something on the stove.

Zayn made a face, “Wasn't completely shit.”

Harry nodded, “That’s good,” he moved away and pressed a kiss to Zayn’s lips. “Hope you don’t mind the extra company.”

Zayn shook his head, “It’s fine and you should really stop doing that, might make Louis jealous.”

Harry looked at him, genuine confusion on his ridiculously handsome face, “Stop doing what?” 

“Kissing me like that,” Zayn said stealing one of the chopped carrots Harry had in a bowl. Harry slapped his hand away and laughed, “Louis understands our relationship Zee, no cause for alarm.” 

Zayn frowned and then decided it wasn't worth the hassle, trying to figure Harry  _or_ Louis out. He excused himself, saying he had to wash up before dinner and what not, Harry waved him off with a smile and went back to his cooking. On his way to his room, his and Liam’s eyes met, yet again and if Zayn wanked in the shower to the heat in those soft brown eyes, well no one had to know.

While he was getting dressed, he could hear the little group outside chattering away. He figured it was safe for him to return and as he set foot into he living room, Louis attacked him.

“Are you quite aware that you don’t have a Christmas tree?” he asked his tone scandalized.

Zayn laughed and nodded, “Yeah I am. Like, I’m Muslim so the tree has never been that much of a big deal for me, ya know?” 

Louis turned to Harry, who had curled up into the corner of the couch, his legs pressed against Louis’, “How are even friends with this... _this anomaly?”_

Harry shook his head and gave Zayn a look that could only be interpreted as sheer  disgust, “I don’t know _how_ I've managed!”

Then Louis scooped Shahidah into his lap, “And the poor munchkin! Shame on you Zayn!” 

Shahidah thought the antics of the two men were quite funny and even joined in, “Baba, I  _need_ a tree! This simply can’t do!”

Her little face was so stern and in that instant she looked so much like her mother, Zayn had to bite on his jaw to hold back the tears that sprang unbidden to his eyes. Harry looked over at him, gaze narrowed and then as if he knew how Zayn was feeling, he sprung into action.

“Well there we have it, the princess has spoken. We  _must_ get a tree.”

Louis, taking his cue from Harry and got to his feet, arms wrapped around Shahidah, “We have to hurry, we’re late and most of the really lovely trees are probably gone.”

“Yes, but you’re an elf right?” Harry said with a grin.

Shahidah clapped and threw her tiny arms around Louis’ neck, “Yes, you can use your elf magic Uncle Lou!”

Liam, who up until this moment had stayed quiet, chimed in with his opinion on the matter, “Why don’t you three go get the tree and Zayn and I will string some popcorn to put on it.”

That idea was met with enthusiasm from all ends, and Zayn found himself alone with a grinning Liam, and he couldn't shake the feeling that somehow the played out scene had been a set up.

“You alright?” Liam asked as the silence fell over them.

Zayn nodded, trying to give him what he hoped was a friendly smile, but in reality it probably resembled a grimace because Liam frowned.

“What’s wrong Zayn?” he asked and then he was all in Zayn’s space, and maybe it was the fact that Zayn had been avoiding his feelings for Liam, (as confusing as they were), or maybe it was because Liam was being so  _nice._ Whatever the reason, Zayn found his self in Liam’s arms sobbing, and Liam the sweetheart he was, hadn't even batted an eyelid. He merely held Zayn close, murmuring soft words to him, trying to calm the older man down.

After a few minutes Zayn had calmed down enough to extricate himself from Liam’s embrace, “I’m...oh my God Liam, I’m  _so sorry!”_ he said rubbing his hand harshly over his face.

Liam reached out and took Zayn’s hands in his, “You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m going to go put dinner in the oven, seeing as Harry and Lou forgot about it and I’ll get the popcorn and then we can talk, if you want to.”

Zayn nodded, not trusting his voice as the overwhelming urge to break down again washed over him. He took a few deep breaths, hoping to calm himself. He couldn't believe he had broken down in front of Liam the way he did, and all because of how much his daughter looked like her mother.

He was still caught up in his thoughts when Liam’s voice startled him.

“Harry made spag bol, and I know it’s your favorite and maybe you’d feel.a bit better on a full tummy.”

Zayn couldn't stop the smile from brightening his features; Liam was way past adorable. 

“How’d you know it’s my favorite?” he asked accepting the tray that Liam had his plate on; he smiled down at the Joker’s face grinning up at him.

Liam’s cheeks reddened and he put down his own tray and sat next to Zayn; Zayn’s grin broadened when he saw Liam had chosen the Batman tray. Harry had bought them for Halloween, Shahidah had a Harley Quinn tray which she used to eat everything on.

“I might've heard it from Shahidah,” Liam’s eyes didn't meet his and it was weird seeing the lad across from him being shy. It was most out of character, but then again Zayn didn't really know Liam’s character, what with the way he tried his hardest to avoid the man.

“What other juicy tidbits have you been squirreling from my child?” he asked, amusement colouring his voice, even as he twirled the pasta on his fork.

“I haven’t been asking about you, I mean...” Liam fumbled over his words.

Zayn gave a small laugh, “It’s alright Lee-yum,” he said. “Although you would get a better info direct from the source.”

Liam looked up at him then, and Zayn couldn't mask the gasp that escaped him. If he had thought Liam to be attractive before, well he had been doing the man a grave injustice. Zayn took in the doe eyes that seemed to strip him bare, the slightly too large nose that was stupidly too cute, the lips that were too obscenely pink to be on a man; Zayn was amazed that he was still breathing.

“Jesus, you’re beautiful,” he breathed and then slapped his free hand over his mouth.

And Liam laughed,no, not in a mean way, more simply in a joyous way that warmed Zayn’s entire being.

“We should eat,” he said offering a smile to Zayn. “We've still got popcorn to do.”

Zayn nodded and tucked into his meal, it really was his favorite and Harry was the best cook.

“I think  _you’re_ beautiful,” Liam said softly after a few minutes of the air being filled with nothing except the sound if their forks against the plates. Zayn paused and looked at him, ready to denounce that statement, because really, he wasn't; then the look on Liam’s face caused the words to catch in his throat.

No one had ever looked at him that way before. It left Zayn feeling petrified and excited all at the same time. He nodded at Liam and then, not trusting his voice, he turned his attentions back to the food. The meal was over quickly, Zayn being hungrier than he thought. Liam did the dishes, even though Zayn protested, while Zayn started on the popcorn. 

It was during the second set of stringing, and Liam scolding Zayn about him eating the popcorn more than he was stringing, that Zayn started talking. At first his words were slow and stilted, he hadn't spoken to anyone about Perrie, not even his mum; it was different with Liam though. Eventually the words just started flowing and Liam, bless him, merely listened.

Zayn was glad for this fact, he didn't want the interruption, didn't want Liam to pity him. When he was done he wasn't surprised to find his hands shaking, but he was surprised about the way he felt. It was though the heaviness that had settled around his heart had been lifted and he could feel again.

_“Love again Zaynie...don’t be afraid.”_

Zayn’s body jerked and he looked around frantically, the sound of Perrie’s voice so loud, so clear. 

“You ok?” Liam asked and Zayn jerked his gaze back to the younger man’s concerned face. 

Zayn just laughed and reached out and joined his and Liam’s fingers together, “Yeah,” he said, tongue pressed against his teeth, “I’m great.”

Liam gave him another curious look and then returned the smile, his eyes crinkling up to little slits and he looked so like a puppy then, Zayn leaned closer and ruffled his hair. Conversation was much lighter after that and by the time the others got back, the two of them were laughing loudly as they threw popcorn at each other.

“I can’t believe you two gits are wasting good popcorn!” Niall’s loud voice boomed. Zayn looked at Liam and the other man nodded and then as if they had planned the whole thing, threw the bowl of popcorn at a shocked Niall.

While Niall stood there sputtering, Harry and Louis brought in the tree, and Shahidah was their guide. Gemma wrinkled her nose at her fiance and gave the two laughing boys a wave.

“Baba, look at our tree!” Shahidah squealed, jumping up and down. “Uncle Lou used his Elf magic!” 

Zayn was tempted to believe her, because the tree was gigantic, and yet a perfect fit for his flat. “I see pumpkin, did you get pretty decorations?” 

She nodded and shoved a bag at him which was filled with every brand of decoration you could think of, but Zayn wasn't surprised. Just look at who she had gone with. Harry was a child himself and well Louis, he worked as an elf! At least Shahidah had a proper excuse for her excitement, the other two, well they were just a pair of nutters.

“I smell food,” Gemma said as she sniffed the air, her body already stretched across the couch she had claimed as hers. “Please someone feed me.”

Harry rolled his eyes as he shrugged out of his coat, dusting the firs from the tree of his gloves and pants. “It’s only because of my niece that I’m entertaining you.” 

Gemma rolled her eyes and motioned for Niall to rub her feet, the smitten fool, happily obliged. 

“Let’s get you washed up and fed,” Zayn said, lifting his daughter in his arms. “Although you are getting quite heavy!” 

“Baba, you really shouldn't tell ladies that they’re fat,” the six year old quipped and Zayn was properly chastised. Gemma encouraged it all the more and Liam, the traitor had grinned and held up his hands, he wanted no part of it. 

“I’m truly sorry your Highness,” Zayn said tickling the child. “Please forgive your very daft baba.” 

She gave a nod, “You’re forgiven, now let’s get my food so we can decorate!”

And decorate they did.

Zayn wondered if he had been spirited away to the North Pole by the time they were finished. Harry and Louis outdid themselves and even he himself, was wrangled into drawing some festive pictures on the wall. Gemma and Shahidah were in charge of the tree and Niall had been their entertainment as he strummed out happy Christmas songs. Zayn looked around the room at the smiling faces, and couldn't help being filled with joy. 

As Harry lifted Shahidah to put the angel on the top of the tree, he met Liam’s steady gaze, and somewhere in all that joy crept the feeling of new love.

**+※+**

 The week before Christmas is utter madness and Zayn feels the urge to scream bubbling in his chest more often than not, but buried among the chaos, there seems to be something magical going on.

It begins with a note and a single white rose. Zayn can’t stop the rise of heat in cheeks as he is subjected to playful ribbing from his coworkers, and that night while he’s in bed, he may or may not have read the card until his vision blurred.

**_I read somewhere that that phrase ‘point of no return’ begins at the very moment your soul becomes aware of its twin. I reached that point when I met you x._ **

Zayn fell asleep with the card pressed to his chest and he didn't know what to make of it, but decided that he didn't care. Harry was still being strange and Zayn wanted to know what his ploy was, but the stubborn little shit acted as though Zayn was imagining things. Liam had been pretty much absent, work, he said and it was that moment that Zayn realized that he had no idea what Liam did. 

It didn't occur to him to just ask, but four days before Christmas he received a package and with it came another note.

_Have you been a good boy this year Zayn? I hope so, I do check my list twice. x_

In the box, Zayn found Santa shaped cookies that looked suspiciously like the ones Harry had baked just that morning. Either way, they were delicious and Zayn wished he knew who the person was, although he had a gut feeling about the whole thing. He was practically skipping by the time he got home, Harry’s raised brows telling how odd he was being.

“We’re going to see Santa,” Harry informed him. “You wanna come?”

Zayn rolled his eyes, “I’m going to have to watch as you and your Elfin Princess make heart eyes at each other, aren't I?”

Harry scoffs, “I’ll have you know that while on duty Lou is the embodiment of professionalism.”

“Yes, but what about his git of a boyfriend?” Zayn asked with a smirk.

“Fuck off,” Harry said ever so politely.

Zayn tsk’d, “You kiss Louis with that mouth?”

Harry shrugged, “He loves my mouth, especially when it’s wrapped around his cock.” 

Zayn nearly choked on his spit, “Christ, my daughter’s in the next room Harry!”

Harry giggled, “She’s picking out her outfit for Santa, she can’t be bothered with us peasants.”

Zayn shook his head and headed out the kitchen to pop his head in his daughter’s room, and just as Harry said, she was engrossed in choosing her outfit. 

“Hiya pumpkin’,” he said softly.

Her welcoming smile would never cease to make Zayn’s heart swell in his chest. She grabbed a dress and held it up for his inspection, “Do you think Santa will like this one baba?”

Zayn stroked his chin, pretending to study the dress in earnest, “I think,” he said pausing to grin at his daughter, “Santa will think you are the prettiest girl ever to sit on his lap.”

That was obviously the best answer because Shahidah hurtled her little body into his arms, “I love you baba,” her little face burrowing into his neck.

Zayn smiled and held her closer, not wanting to think about the time in years to come when she wouldn't want his cuddles anymore. “I love you more baby girl. I’m going to get dressed and then we’ll be off to see Santa, alright?” 

Shahidah nodded and went back to her getting ready, Zayn took a quick shower and soon the trio were bundled up and ready to go.

The mall was a nightmare and Zayn made sure to tell Shahidah to hold onto either his or Uncle Harry’s hand very tightly; she agreed, eyes wide as she took in the crush of people scurrying around, doing their last minute shopping. 

The line for Santa was surprisingly small but Louis still looked a bit frazzled and Zayn sent the man a sympathetic smile. Shahidah was having a conversation with Santa and Zayn noted that they looked over at him numerous times, he’d ask her about it later. Once again he was coaxed to have a photo taken with Santa, and just before the camera flashed, he felt warm breath against his ear and then the voice he would know anywhere despite having only known him a few short weeks, whispered, “Have you been a very good boy?”

 Zayn would've fallen had it not been for the strong grip around his waist, anchoring him to Santa’s, or more correctly,  _Liam’s_ lap. His entire body was frozen and he wasn't even aware, until Shahidah started tugging his arm, going on about a gift for Uncle Niall. He scrambled off Liam’s lap, not sparing a look to either Harry or Louis, as he and his daughter high-tailed it out of there.

When Shahidah was tucked into bed later that night, Zayn tried to wrap his head around what was going on. Liam had to have been Santa from that very first day, and Harry knew, and didn't say anything!

Needless to say, he didn't sleep well that night, but at least Harry had the decency to give him some space. He spent he next day sitting on the couch watching old black and white Christmas movies. Around noon, another package came, and Zayn stared at it for at least ten minutes before he dared to open it. 

Inside the box, he found drawing paper and a little assortment of paints. 

_What was Liam playing at?_

He was more than fifty percent sure that Liam and his  _secret admirer,_ was one and the same. It was the words he had said as Santa that sealed the deal for Zayn; those words he knew like the back of his hand. And it was shocking that he immediately recognized Liam’s voice. He hadn't known that he had made a conscious decision to learn it, but yet he knew it as soon as he opened his mouth. The way his almost posh words formed and washed over everyone around at the moment, in a way Zayn found annoying and unbearably cute.

Of course there was a card accompanying the gifts, and it wasn't a matter of  _if_ Zayn would read it, but more aptly, how many times he  _would_ read it. 

_**I want you to paint a picture for me. Show me how these gifts make you feel.** _

_And how did it make him feel?_ Zayn hadn't a clue, so he went to bed and left the box on the table. Harry called him the next day, warily asking him about attending a Christmas costume party. Zayn wanted to refuse, but Harry shot down his main excuse easily with a bored tone.

“Trisha already said she’d watch Sha-Sha,” he said and Zayn knew he had lost. His mother was always vocal about how she felt about his lack of a social life, and she loved the ground Harry walked on. 

“But like, I don’t even have a costume Haz,” he was trying so hard, he wasn't in the party mood. His mind was far too jumbled to focus on much else. 

“Really Zayn?” Harry said and Zayn knew it was over. “I’ll be there to pick you up at half six, we can get ready at Lou’s.”

“I think I hate you,” Zayn said, Harry laughed and hung up.

Well guess that was that, he was going to a party.

_Who the hell threw a costume party at Christmas anyways?_

**+※+**

Turns out that Nick Grimshaw was the idiot responsible for the party and Harry was the idiot responsible for Zayn looking like a clump of grass. They had been at the party for an hour and Louis was on his way to being royally pissed, of course being a smidgen angry at Harry had a lot to do with it.

“You’re a gorgeous Grinch, Zayn,” he giggled and threw his arm over Zayn’s shoulder.

“Um, thanks?” Zayn said turning his head aside as he tried to escape the foul odor coming from Louis’ mouth. Now would probably be a good time to find Harry. Zayn grabbed Louis’ hand and guided them to an almost empty couch, “I’m going to find Harry.” 

Louis groaned and shook his head, “No,” he said with a cough. “Just get me some water and sit with me a bit.” 

Zayn looked at him, hearing something akin to desperation in the man’s voice, “I’ll be right back. Don’t disappear on me alright?”

“And don’t you go finding a Cindy-Lou Who to make your heart grow,” and then Louis was laughing loudly to himself. Zayn shook his head and went in search of Harry; he found him having a chat with their host.

“Zee!” he cried when he spotted his friend, “Come give us a kiss!”

Harry was not as inebriated as he would have some of his present company believe, so after Zayn’s frown deepened, he made excuses and moved them away for a bit of privacy.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked.

“Your boyfriend is jealous of your weird friend, was he your ex?” Zayn had never bothered to ask about Nick.

Harry’s brows furrowed and he looked completely confused, “Why would Lou be jealous of Grimmy?”

Sometimes, Harry was a tad bit oblivious, so Zayn had to enlighten him, “You've spent the better half of an hour draped over  _Grimmy,_ while Louis has been progressively getting smashed.”

“You’re not kidding!” Harry bounded to his feet, “Where is he?” 

Zayn pointed out where he had left Louis sitting, “Whatever you got me for Christmas, you’d better add to it,” he said with a grin.

Harry laughed and gave Zayn’s cheek an affectionate pat, his gaze brightening at something over Zayn’s shoulder.  

“See you later Grinchy, save some of your love for me, yeah?” Harry said, his words slower from his alcohol intake, and then he was off to find Louis and beg for his forgiveness. 

Zayn then turned slowly to see what had caused Harry to react the way he did, and found himself face to face with Cindy-Liam Who. It was so totally unexpected, Zayn burst into laughter. He laughed until his sides ached and Liam’s pretty lips were in a pout.

“Do I look that bad?” Liam asked frowning a bit.

Zayn shook his head and sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “No babe, you look gorgeous,” he said with a grin when he was finally able to speak properly.

“This was Louis’ idea,” Liam said waving his hand in front of himself. 

Zayn’s gaze narrowed and he huffed, “And this was Harry’s,” he motioned to his own costume.

Liam chuckled, “Can’t ever accuse our friends of subtlety can we?”

“Never,” Zayn smiled. “You do look nice though.”

Liam grinned and he might have blushed, but Zayn couldn't be sure since the room wasn't exactly well lit. “Thanks,” he paused to give Zayn the once over, “You don’t look too bad yourself.” Zayn shrugged, “It was either this or become involved with the weird reindeer fetish Haz and Louis have going on.”

Liam looked towards where Harry and Louis had found themselves, grinding on the dance-floor; Louis had one of his tiny legs between Harry’s thighs and the two of them were rubbing noses. Zayn rolled his eyes and almost threw up at their cuteness.

“How are they both Rudolph?” Liam asked a bemused expression on his face.

Zayn rolled his eyes, “How are they so disgustingly cute?” he tried to sound annoyed but he was actually very happy for Harry.

“I think you’re much cuter,” Liam said drawing Zayn’s attention back to him.

“I haven’t drawn your picture yet,” Zayn found himself blurting out.

And Liam, bless him, didn't even blink, “It’s no hurry.”

Zayn blinked, _well alright then_ , “Do you wanna dance?”

Liam grinned, “Anything for you Grinchy.”

Liam knocked back the shot of what Zayn assumed was Tequila, that he hadn't even noticed until then, and put it down on the bar before grabbing Zayn’s hand and pulled him onto the dance-floor. The music was a mixture of everything, from hip hop, R & B, to the traditional seasonal music that was appropriate for the party. And maybe it was the vibe in the room, but Zayn found himself latched onto Liam, who turned out to be a funny dancer.

“Are you having a good time?” Liam’s breathed tickled Zayn’s ear.

Zayn looked up and licked his lips before nodding, it was too loud and he didn't feel like screaming back his answer to Liam. Liam’s answering smile was breathtaking and Zayn felt himself being pulled further into Liam’s eyes. And maybe Zayn was tired of being alone, tired of seeing all of his friends paired of and happy, maybe because he had made that promise to Perrie; whatever the reason, Zayn stopped being scared. Despite all the negative thoughts, and the fear of disappointment, if things didn't work out for him and Liam, he did something he never thought he would do; he reached up and pulled Liam’s head and in turn his lips, and kissed him.

The kiss was slow and intense, it was intoxicating and freeing, it was everything Zayn wanted and more. Liam’s lips were soft against his, but still strong. Unlike with Harry, where Harry yearned to please and pretty much let Zayn lead their trysts, Liam took charge. His hand came up to cup the back of Zayn’s neck, effectively deepening the kiss. Zayn moaned and pressed his chest against Liam’s, his arms snaking their way around the other man’s neck.

They snogged for what seemed like forever, until Zayn felt a tap on his shoulder and the clearing of a throat. Slowly he pulled back from Liam who growled, _fucking growled_ , at being interrupted. The sound of someone clearing their throat again, only louder, snapped Liam out of his lust induced haze and he blinked slowly until his eyes cleared up.

“This is not a brothel boys,” Louis said, a smug grin on his face.

“I must say,” Harry said, his dimple showing, “I never knew you had it in you Zee.”

“Maybe he’d rather have something _in him_ ,” Louis snickered, wiggling his brows suggestively. Zayn felt his cheeks start to burn and was going to retaliate in kind, but Liam beat him to it.

“Oh piss off,” he said, with a roll of his eyes. “You and Harry were practically full out fucking on the dance-floor.”

“True,” Harry said thoughtfully and Zayn would've last if he hadn't continued talking. “Somehow you two looked more intimate.”

Zayn nearly choked on his spit, and he looked at Harry’s face with wide eyes; looking for some sort of proof that Harry was just arsing around -funny thing that- because Harry seemed utterly serious.

“What?” Zayn said shaking his head, “No we didn't!”

Harry shook his head and smirked, Louis looked bored; “Well seeing that you couldn't see how the two of you looked, what with your tongue stuck down each other’s throats,” Louis said, and Zayn began to wonder if Louis really was as drunk as he seemed.

“Zayn?” Liam said softly from beside him.

He turned to look at Liam, and there was no stopping the soft smile, “You wanna get out of here?” he asked before Liam could say anything.

Liam blinked and Louis chortled, “I thought you said he was shy Haz!”

“I guess I was wrong,” Harry shrugged, and to the others it would seem he was fine, but Zayn knew Harry all to well - he noticed the tightening of his mouth - a sure tell that Harry was upset about something. That something, Zayn was now trying to decipher, but Harry shook himself visibly, and was back to his usual self, his wide mouth stretching into a cheeky smile.

Louis shook his head and turned his attention to Liam, “I believed the man asked you a question mate.”

Liam nodded, “Night Lou, Harry,” and then he grabbed Zayn’s hand, leading them towards the door.

Zayn doesn't think to ask where they’re going as Liam drives along, there’s silence in the car but it’s not uncomfortable. The radio is playing some soft lover’s-rock type song, the smooth purring sound of the engine added to his swift decline into a too-relaxed state. He still didn't ask when Liam pulled into an apartment complex and cut the engine.

“It’s too cold out tonight for a stroll,” Liam being the first to break the silence, “So I hope you don’t mind coming to mine and having a cuppa.”

Zayn looked over at him, and blinked lazily, before offering a smile. “That sounds ace Li.”

And he wondered to himself, since when did he have nicknames for Liam?

Liam grinned and Zayn knew all was lost. His mind randomly producing a line from the infamous Dr. Seuss Christmas tale, ‘And the Grinch’s small heart, grew three sizes that day.’

And no, it wasn't that he didn't love; no, it was more fear of feeling again that made him the way he was.

Liam made the hot chocolate, while Zayn looked for a movie on Liam’s command. He settled on Toy Story, thinking he hadn't watched it in a while and he remembered how much he had liked it growing up. The movie was just starting when Liam joined him, his eyes lighting up when he realized what Zayn had chosen.

“How’d you know this was my favorite?”

And it takes a few short moments for Zayn to realize that Liam wasn't taking the piss. Oh no, Liam’s face was too full of unadulterated bliss. “I didn't but I guess it’s true then what they say.”

Liam’s brow furrows adorably in confusion and Zayn might have laughed a little before settling in to watch the movie. They were both dozing when Liam asks if he wanted to stay the night. Zayn doesn't even hesitate, and somewhere in his sleep addled brain, he knew he should be alarmed by this. Liam goes to tidy his room, neither of them negating the assumption that Zayn was staying in his bed tonight, and Zayn goes to shoot his mum a text to let her know of his plans. His mum however, as she always seems to do, was one step ahead of him. She had sent a text, nearly an hour ago telling Zayn to have fun and reminding him to use protection.

Zayn sputtered at this and was glad Liam was not yet back to witness his less than stellar actions. He replied with a shocked emoji and instructions to call if anything should happen to Shahidah.

He was locking his phone as Liam came back out, “Everything alright?”

Zayn looked up and frowned, “You’re you again.”

Liam grinned, “And you’re still green.”

“Come help me get out of this mess,” Zayn commanded,, holding out his hand for Liam to help him out of the couch.

“I should’ve known you were a diva,” Liam muses as he tugs Zayn up hard and fast. Zayn gasped as he came into direct contact with Liam’s chest, his fingers reaching out to grasp the muscled arms that were holding him upright. “As cute as you are in this get up, I want to see the real Zayn when I’m kissing him good night.”

Zayn can hardly breathe and barely manages a small squeak before Liam leads him to the bathroom to get him de-costumed. And while Liam carefully rids his face and body of all remnants of the costume, Zayn can’t help the tightening of his stomach as he thinks about those promised kisses.

**+※+**

And the promise was kept.

As they lay tucked under the duvet, Liam kissed Zayn in ways he had never been kissed before, leaving the older man a quivering mess in his arms. They fell asleep holding hands, their lips a breath apart and Zayn felt as though they had made the most passionate love of all time.

He woke feeling quite toasty and the feeling of cold toes on his leg gave him a start.

He was not alone, _and then_ , he was _not_ home.

He looked down to see a very familiar tattoo on the arm that was strewn across his middle.

It all came back in a rush then, the party, staying over at Liam’s and the kisses.

It’s Christmas eve and Zayn gives a delighted gasp when he looks out the window and sees soft snow falling from the sky. The sound and probably his excited wiggles woke Liam, who tightens his hold on Zayn, mumbles something incoherent and buries his nose in Zayn’s neck.

“Liam? Li...look,” Zayn’s voice was soft and full of quiet awe, he had always loved snow.

“Hmm?” was Liam’s muffled reply.

“It’s snowing!”

Liam’s head came up, his chin resting on Zayn’s shoulder, “Oh!” and his sleep roughened voice made Zayn shiver. “Wanna go see?”

Zayn nodded and a few minutes later they were out on Liam’ mini-balcony marveling at the falling flakes.

“It’s beautiful,” Zayn said quietly, as though he were loathe to intrude on the tranquil moment.

Liam’s fingers slid under his chin, turning his body to face him, “You’re beautiful,” he whispered before lowering his head to kiss Zayn softly.

They shared plenty more kisses after they went back inside, and even more as Liam idled in front of Zayn’s flat.

“Are you coming tonight? To Lou’s party?” Zayn asked just before he got out of the car. It was Louis’ birthday today.

“Sorry,” Liam said and Zayn felt a little of the air in his happy balloon, escape. “I’m going up to my family back home in Wolverhampton”

“Oh,” was all Zayn could muster, trying fervently not to let his disappointment show. “Well Merry Christmas to you then.”

“I want to be here,” Liam says, his fingers lacing together with Zayn’s. “With _you_.”

Zayn nods, “It’s okay I’ll see you after the hols.”

And he was out of the car before Liam could say another word. He went inside, kissed his mum hello and woke Shahidah to show her the snow. They ended up outside making snow angels and that’s when Zayn realized that he was still wearing Liam’s borrowed clothes.

“Isn't that Liam’s?” Louis asks when Zayn lets him in later that evening. Zayn stammered for a minute before clamping his lips together, he would ignore the smug look on Louis’ face. “Where’s Haz?” he asked hoping to distract Louis long enough to get his mind off the fact that he was indeed wearing Liam’s jumper. After drying it after their romp in the snow, Zayn found himself wearing it again after he showered and got ready for the party.

“He’s parking,” Louis shrugged out of his coat. “We’re going to drive up to visit my mum and sisters in the morning.”

Zayn nodded and something in his chest gave a pang. This would be his first Christmas in three years without Harry. It wasn't that he was jealous, it was more that he realized how truly lonely he was. He blinked slowly and found Louis watching him closely, “You alright mate?”

Giving him a smile, Zayn nodded and made his way into the kitchen. Louis was following him.but got waylaid by a precocious child, squealing and still managing to sing the birthday song to her favorite elfin uncle. Zayn grinned and checked the stove, by that time Harry came in with Gemma and Niall trailing behind him. Greetings were made, both Niall and Gemma commenting on how good everything smelled.

“I can appreciate Gemma’s enthusiasm, she’s pregnant,” Louis said giving Niall a look. “What’s your excuse?”

Harry snorted, “That child,” he pointed to his sister’s stomach, “Is going to be a bottomless pit. Mark my words.”

Gemma rolled her eyes and kissed Niall, before addressing her brother, “Shut it you.”

“Where’s Uncle Liam?” Shahidah asked when they were all seated at the table. Her tiny face set in a frown, and she was the spitting image of her mother then. Zayn reached over and tugged her nose, “He went to see his family pumpkin’.”

The frown didn't leave her face as she digested what her father had said. “Santa told me it would be alright but it’s not,” her bottom lip started to quiver.

Louis scooped her into his lap, blowing on her cheeks and making her giggle, “Now, now moppet,” he said, “There will be no tears on my birthday and Santa never lies.”

She blinked up at him, “Really?”

Louis nodded, his expression serious, “Elf’s honor,” and Zayn wanted to hug him.

“Plus, uncle Liam wouldn't want you to be sad.”

She gave a sniffle and hugged Louis tightly around his neck, “I asked him to bring someone to love my baba,” she whisper-shouted and Zayn’s eyes widened as he met Harry’s amused gaze. Gemma and Niall were smiling too, both thinking how wonderful the little girl was.

“Like I said, Santa always keeps his word,” Louis said kissing her nose. “Now let’s eat so we can have cake.”

“And then we can put out the cookies and milk for Santa,” Harry says sending a glare in Niall’s direction.

“And then it’s off to bed so Santa can actually visit,” Niall says, his eyes twinkling merrily.

“Okay,” Shahidah said and her sadness passed just like that; ah, the perks of youthful inability to let problems affect them for too long. They ate and soon Gemma was reading a story to Shahidah and the men were singing a lullaby. Just before her tired eyes closed in sleep, she hugged Zayn close and said, “I miss uncle Liam.”

And Zayn did too.

**+※+**

Zayn woke to someone jumping on his bed, and he slid open an eye to see who the culprit was. Turned out to be more than one culprit. Shahidah and Niall, were bouncing on his bed, grinning madly.

“Baba, _get up!_ It’s Christmas!” she said giddily.

“Yes _baba_ ,” Niall chirped. “ _Get up_!”

Zayn tugged Shahidah in for a hug while mouthing to Niall he was going to murder him. The blonde laughed loudly and reached out to poke Zayn’s side. “Okay munchkin, baba’s awake, let’s go wake the others.”

Zayn shook his head, questioning Niall’s sanity and then in turn questioned his own. I mean really, what possessed him to let the others all crash there anyway?

He could hear the house coming awake as he lay there for a while longer, his daughter’s happy laugh wafting down to him. He was glad for their little unit, his unorthodox extended family, as it were. He really didn't know what he would do without them. He sighed and rolled over, pulling himself from he bed to go join his family.

Breakfast was an ordeal, as Louis volunteered to make it. Zayn had to beg Harry not let him set he place on fire. Louis was of course gravely offended in everyone’s lack of faith in his cooking ability.

“Had not for the little moppet,” he pouted. “I would go back to the North Pole and leave you wretched people.”

Harry laughed and pecked his nose, “You couldn't,” his dimple showing. “You’d miss me way too much.”

Louis huffed dramatically, but didn't deny Harry’s words.

Gifts were exchanged and they were all getting ready to go, although it seemed everyone was reluctant to leave.

“What time is it?” Shahidah asked as they were putting on their coats.

“Almost eight,” Zayn told her. “Do you have a date?”

She blinked at him and scrunched up her nose, “Eww baba. I’m never dating.”

Zayn laughed, making a mental note to remember this day when she hit the teen hears and started to notice boys, or girls, whatever she was happy with. “That’s good to hear baby,” he said as the other adults laughed.

“Well moppet, we’ll see you in a few days,” Louis said making a show of kissing her entire face. The others followed suit and it was just Zayn and his daughter standing at the door, waving until they couldn't see the cars anymore. Zayn closes the door behind them and tries to control the sudden wave of loneliness that threatened to overwhelm him. Shahidah had gotten pretty quiet and he wouldn't have his daughter sad on Christmas Day. They watched the cartoon version of the grinch and Zayn tried not to remember his very own Cindy-Lou Who.

When the movie was finished, the father and daughter took their baths, vowing to continue their movie marathon.

“Is it nine yet?” Shahidah asked as Zayn helped her into her dress.

“It’s about half nine now baby,” Zayn said brushing her hair.

He was in utter surprise when the little girl in front of him burst into tears. He immediately dropped her brush and pulled her into his lap, “What’s wrong baby?”

“Santa said your gift would come at nine,” she sobbed.

“You already gave me a present,” he said cuddling her closer.

“Not that one baba,” she said through her tears. “A special one.”

Zayn was at a total loss, not really understanding what was going on, but he didn't get the chance to ask exactly what was going in because the doorbell rang. “Why don’t you go wash your face while I see who’s at the door. Alright?”

When he opened the door to find a tired looking, but smiling Liam standing there, he thought for sure he was dreaming.

“Li....” he was cut off by Liam’s lips pressed against his.

He didn't see any reason not to return the kiss. It was so very easy to lose himself in the kiss, to lose himself to Liam. He found his arms wrapped around Liam’s neck, his chest straining to get closer still. The kiss went on until tiny giggles from somewhere behind them, broke into their little world. Liam was the one strong enough to break away, and Zayn had a brief moment of shame.

“Merry Christmas,” Liam whispered against Zayn’s mouth.

Zayn squeezed his eyes shut, “Merry Christmas,” he whispered and when he opened his eyes Liam had gone. For a moment Zayn stood there thinking that he had hallucinated the whole thing and was sure he was going to cry, when he heard his daughter's happy cries.

“Merry Christmas uncle Liam,” she said snuggling into Liam’s chest.

“I missed you so much,” Liam whispered, just loud enough for Zayn to hear.

Shahidah pushed back off his chest and gave him a hard smack on his shoulder, “You missed uncle Lou’s party, and, you made me cry.”

Liam looked proper contrite, his pink lips in a pout and the puppy eyes in full attendance, Zayn almost laughed at the man on his knees cuddling a young child on his lap, looking alarming perfect. Shahidah was not easily swayed by a pretty face.

“Please forgive me, I had important business to handle,” Liam said.

“Nothing’s more important than uncle Lou’s party,” the child was not moved.

“I was called away by Santa,” Liam said. “He had something very important for me to do, a promise to keep to a beautiful little girl called Shahidah.”

Zayn watched as his daughter’s face lit up. Apparently Liam was in on this Santa thing too. Liam dug into his jacket’s pocket and took something Zayn couldn't see and pressed them into Shahidah’s palm.

“He sent you Uncle Liam?” she breathed.

Liam nodded, a smile growing on his face.

“I’m so glad it’s you,” the little girl cried throwing her arms around Liam’s neck, probably crushing his wind pipe; Liam didn't seem to mind.

As amused as Zayn was, he was tired of being in the dark about all of this, “Would someone mind telling me what’s going on?”

Liam got to his feet, holding the precious cargo in his arms carefully, and made his way to Zayn.

“Santa sent Uncle Liam, he wouldn't send just anyone,” his daughter was literally bouncing in Liam’s arms; she was so certain.

“What did you ask for baby?”

“To send someone to love you,” she said, "Look, I even gave him these."

She uncurled her fist and Zayn saw the tiny paper hearts;  _paper kisses._

And when Zayn’s eyes met Liam’s in slight alarm, thinking he would see the same thing reflected back at him.

He was mistaken.

Liam smiled then, “Zayn, from the moment I met you, as cliche as it may sound, I knew I could love you,” he paused to kiss Shahidah’s nose. “If you’d let me and maybe one day, we could just love each other.”

“Please say yes baba,” Shahidah pleaded softly.

And _yes_ , Zayn was terrified, but he was also hopeful; he _wanted_ to be loved again, he _wanted_ to love again. He looked at his daughter’s expectant face and he heard Perrie in his head, telling him how happy she was for him. He tugged on Shahidah’s nose and then before leaning forward to kiss Liam, he gave a nod and a genuine ‘tongue pressed to teeth’ smile.

It was a chaste kiss, his very happy daughter was in their presence after all; he would kiss Liam properly much later.

“Merry Christmas,” he whispered as Liam bundled them close.

“Merry Christmas,” Liam replied just as soft.

“Merry Christmas!” Shahidah added and then, “Uncle Liam where are my presents at then?”

The adults burst into laughter and then bombarded the little girl with kisses as she squealed happily. And later that day, she wrote a lovely thank you letter to Santa, she’d have Uncle Lou deliver it later.

**Author's Note:**

> There will be at least two more parts to this series. I've fallen in love with my own story. Ha. See you soon x


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